Teaching body safety is a way of limiting the risk of sexual abuse and should be an ongoing discussion with your kids. We teach kids basic safety but body safety is a topic we often delay until when they are much older – Oftentimes we swing to action when we hear about a case of child sexual abuse only to forget about it again about a week later. The only way we can at least prevent our kids from sexual abuse is by instilling and arming them with the necessary knowledge and preventive measures.  

The statistics are staggering; about 1 in 10 girls under the age of 18 have been forced to engage in sex or perform other sexual acts – UNICEF. Did you also know that abuses occur at the hands of someone a child knows and trusts, like family members and friends? 73% of child victims do not tell anyone about the abuse for at least a year, and about 45% of victims do not tell anyone for at least five years. Approximately 20% of the victims of sexual abuse are under age eight. What is even scarier is that I have on different occasions heard stories of child sexual abuse in which the perpetrator is about the same age as the victim. This should tell you something; the kids you think are too young to be taught body safety know more things than you would expect and some are engaging in things you would never believe they have an inkling of.

So why leave your kids to continue getting the orientation from the street? Why not start early by instilling the knowledge and arm them well enough to know what to do should they face a situation like this?  Every parent must educate their child on the following basic information

Teach your child what exactly is a good touch and a bad touch

It is imperative to give your child background knowledge on what is regarded as good and bad touch.  To put it simply for your kids, good touch is a safe touch; it could be a kiss or hug from parents, siblings, and grandparents. It could also be a pat on the back from teachers or coaches when they want to say well done. It could also be a hug or a high five from friends and classmates. Bad touch is an unsafe touch that makes one feel unsafe, scared, nervous, and ashamed. Let your child know part of their body that is regarded as private and why a touch on any of these areas is a bad touch.

Teach  your children that they  are the boss of their body and it is their property

Teach your children that no one has permission to touch their body without their consent. Teach them that their body belongs to them, and they have every right over their body. This knowledge helps your child to be aware of their body functions, the fact that it is private and needs to be safeguarded.

Teach your kids the correct names of their body parts

Children could be challenged when trying to talk about sexual harassment because they don’t know the right words to use. Teach them the correct names of various parts of their bodies. Consider teaching them the anatomical terms of their private body parts.

Use simple rules and descriptions in explaining to them

Children learn easily from illustrations. For example, objects that they can see and touch. It can be pretty challenging to explain the private parts of their body less ambiguously, so you can use simple illustrations like the swimsuit rule. Teach them where their swimsuit covers is their private part, and no one should touch those areas. This paints a relatable picture of the message you are trying to pass across and gives them a better understanding.

Teach your child  safety rules

Teach them to yell and say no or stop it when they are touched in unpleasant places or against their will. Tell them it is okay to shout and run away from someone who touches them in places they don’t like, and they should never be alone with such a person again.  Also, teach your child that it is not okay to touch others’ private parts and say no, even if they are told to do so.

Tell your children they will never be in trouble if they tell you a body secret.

Most perpetrators will tell the child to keep the abuse a secret. “This is our secret. If you tell anyone, you will get in big trouble!” So, children don’t tell their parents because they thought they would get in trouble. The perpetrator often uses this fear. Tell your child that body secrets are not okay. Teach kids that they will NEVER get in trouble when they tell you anything about body safety or body secrets no matter what happens. 

Keep on having the conversation with your kids from time to time

Don’t just make it a one-time conversation to have with your kids. Consciously and constantly educate your child about good touches and bad touches and age-appropriate sex education.

Be their teacher so that they don’t have to learn from someone else.

• Ensure you do not leave your child alone with adults unsupervised. And if your child is alone with adults or young people, ensure that they can be seen and interrupted at any time. This means to avoid them being alone in private places like their rooms. And when they are young, always go with them to public toilets.

• Be aware of adults who offer children special gifts or toys or adults who want to take your child on a “special outing” or to special events.

• Do not let your child go to your neighbour’s house for sleepovers, camps, outings without doing relevant “investigations”. For instance – you need to know about the family, their value systems, etc. Also, ask for details of supervision, sleeping arrangements, etc. And always check in with your child. As they get older, have a code word your children can use to feel unsafe or want to be picked up.

• Trust your instinct if something doesn’t feel right – for example, you can say no if people ask to take your child on outings alone, offer to coach your child individually, and so on

• Know the signs: Unexplained injuries aren’t the only signs of abuse. Depression, fear of a certain adult, difficulty trusting others or making friends, sudden changes in eating or sleeping patterns, inappropriate sexual behaviour, poor hygiene, secrecy, and hostility are often signs of abuse

Every parent’s number one concern is their child’s safety, and their greatest fear is someone hurting them. We can arm our children with relevant information to minimize the possibility of abuse. The discussion must be often and continuous. Look for opportunities to ask them questions and remind them about the rules. Also, look for fun ways to check their understanding.

9ijakids has developed a game on protecting my body, a fun learning way to teach kids about good touch and bad touch. Click here to play.

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