One of the things that parents must earnestly work to develop in their children is the growth mindset. I honestly think that I missed out on many things while growing up due to the belief that I wasn’t cut out for those things. I grew up having a fixed mindset because, in my head, I thought I could either be this or that, and there are some things I am not wired to do. Big lie! 

There are kids with this mindset too. I have listened to my older son complain about not being interested in Mathematics; it is too complex, I can’t do it. He would justify this by saying that since some of his schoolmates know it and find it interesting, it means they were created for it. He would say I should let him focus on the one he knows. How hilarious. I was going to start thinking in this direction until I stumbled on the concept of a growth mindset. Every child who feels this way just lacks a growth mindset and exhibits its opposite, a fixed mindset. A growth mindset is the tendency to believe that you can grow. People with a growth mindset believe that they can, over time, grow and develop their intelligence by putting in the work every day, but a fixed mindset will make anyone feel that intelligence is static; you are either good in this area and otherwise in other areas. 

Where does your child fall? Is your child struggling with any perceived complex subject in school, and they think they can’t just do it because it’s too hard? It’s not too hard; they just need to nurture their interest and develop and train their intelligence. Several studies have proven that children and adults can develop and prepare for intelligence. My son that hated Mathematics so much, has consistently topped his class and won several mathematics competitions. Anytime I remind him of how he talked about not being created for it, he would laugh and say, mummy, it’s actually fun. Your child, too, can do it. Here are a few tips for instilling a growth mindset in your child. 

First thing first, help them understand that it’s very okay to make mistakes or to be wrong 

Most kids will lose interest in anything when it’s their first time learning it. I have listened to a teacher say that the fear of failing actually scares a lot of kids in mathematics class. When learning a new topic, none of them wants to try because they are too afraid to fail. It’s always the case in every math class. Teach kids that it’s okay to fail even if you try it multiple times. The act of trying it over and over is the process of demonstrating a growth mindset. There is a belief that there is surely a way to arrive at the right answer, and in the process of making mistakes, they learn what works and maneuver their way through to success. 

Teach them various approaches to problem-solving rather than solving problems for them

We are always tempted to solve every problem for our kids, but we rob them of the opportunity to learn and become independent every time we do this. To help kids develop a growth mindset, rather than rushing to solve every problem, we must teach them various approaches to problem-solving and brainstorm when they feel stuck. Help them to find multiple resources that can simplify things and make their lives easier. 

Teach them that failure is part of life

Failing today is not the end of life. Teach them that it’s okay to try it once and fail; it’s proof that they tried and need to do more. Motivate them to put in more effort and let them know that nobody stays down when they fall. A growth mindset starts when your child starts seeing failure as part of the process. Help them master this early morning growth mindset affirmation ‘I failed now, I will try again and if I fail again, I will try again until I get it right”

Explain to them what a growth mindset and fixed mindset is

I like to explain to my kids the reason behind everything I ask them to do. These days it’s not enough to just tell your kids to do this and that, let them know why you want them to do it and what the benefits are. Why do you want them to have a growth mindset? Why is a fixed mindset a no for them? Discuss both concepts using stories. There are tons of books that can help your child grasp the two concepts. Check out these books: A Walk in the Rain with a Brain by Edward Hallowell, When Pigs Fly by Valerie Coulman, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn for Kids by John C. Maxwell, Bubble Gum Brain by Julia Cook. Etc

Model growth mindset as a parent

If you want your child to be anything, model it. Children are the best imitators; they learn faster and pick up what we do just easily. They are watching and want to be like you, so wouldn’t you instead model the behaviour you want to see your kids exhibit? 

Praise their effort over the outcome

If you want to instil a growth mindset in your child, help them realise how the brain works. Praise their effort even if they don’t achieve the expected result. Simple statements like I see that you really worked hard, I know you will do more and achieve better results next time. This helps them understand that success requires hard work and process. It also builds a sense of self-efficacy in them. Let them know that their brains are like muscles and can be stretched and strengthened through hard work and persistence. With this, they naturally want to try more and achieve better results. 

Building a growth mindset in your child is a gradual process, but you must be intentional to see it materialise. You need to let them know that there are times when they won’t even have the zeal to want to try again; they can rest, leave it for a while before going back to it. What matters is understanding that giving up on it is not an option, and they must always put in the work